My singing in church with 20 dollars and a photographer dream

My daughter and I walk into a church…it is completely flooded with water.  (Seems they are doing a mass baptismal.)  Of course, being petrified of water myself, I will not venture inside.  “I’ll drown!” I scream.  Suddenly, it was like someone pulled a plug and all the water was gone.

The preacher was a woman and she was dressed in long white robes.  She proceeded to lead the choir in a joyful rendition of “There’s a hole in the Bottom of the Sea” followed by “The 12 Days of Christmas”.

They then passed around a plate…not for the congregation to contribute, but to give each member something.  I found $20.00 in my envelope, and kindly asked what that was for.  The preacher answered “It seems the police department came into some extra money and gave it to the church, and I thought why not distribute it amongst our congregation?”

At that point, my daughter is feeling ill, so we must leave.  She goes out first, while I gather up our belongings.  I can’t find her, so I locate the stairs to go out, and instead of stairs, I have to climb down a ladder.  I finally find her outside, and instead of being outside the church, we are outside my old high school, where there is a photographer sitting in his car with a camera.  My daughter says “That guy took your picture out here years ago, and he stopped me and said he had to take my picture because I looked just like you.”   Then, we walked down the street, got on the bus and went home.

 

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Guys Are a Dime a Dozen

Guys are a dime a dozen and this girl’s got plenty of dimes. So, I’ll pay out my dime, go thru my dozen and toss those guys one at a time.

This world is full of frogs, will I ever find a prince? The thought of kissing all these frogs really makes me wince.

There are more pebbles in the sand, and plenty of fish in the sea. I think I’ll go start a band, write a song and go out and make some money.

Taffy OKelly 3-27-14

My Amy Roloffin a camper at the mall with R Phillip Prince dream

Amy Roloff is in her new venue on the Roloff farm checking out the new sound system, when suddenly she breaks out into Pink’s “Just You and Your Hand Tonight”.  Then, she loads everyone into the big camper so that we can all make our way to the campground that is approximately 90 miles from where we were.

We drive and drive and eventually we end up at a mall in the middle of nowhere.  We are all walking around looking for the food court, which evidently does not exist anymore.  Some of us get separated and I find myself in JC Penney’s with my real life good friend and children’s author R Phillip Prince.  (Author of “Mouse in the Viking’s Beard”..check it out)  I say “Hey, Phil, do you know where everyone went?  We have to find that camper, lest we be stranded here forever.”  So, Phil, who evidently decided to get an ornery streak said “Yup, let’s go!” and starts running.  I try to keep up and finally track him through the furniture department, where he hid behind a chair.  He jumped out and yelled “Gotcha Taffy!”  I then chase him again down a hallway and through a door to the elevators, but can’t find him at all.  I yell “Come on Phil, this isn’t funny anymore!” and then go back out the door to see if I missed him.

In the meantime, Phil came through another door and couldn’t find me so hopped on the elevator to the 4th floor to find the camper.  I get on next elevator to try and catch up, for fear I am forever stranded at a JC Penney at a mall with no food court in the middle of nowhere.

Then, suddenly, I found myself awake walking into the bathroom.

Yes, I really dream this stuff…who could make it up?

My Jimmy Fallon in a green housecoat at the mall dream

I’m Jimmy Fallon’s secretary, and screening his calls and visitors.  In the hotel lobby, his personal assistant shows up with a green housecoat that she found at the Goodwill.  She’s thrilled, because she knows it will be perfect for his skit.  You see, the one he had for the skit got ruined somehow, and she had to find a replacement.  It is hideous….short sleeves, big pockets….and the color of baby food peas.  He loves it….puts it on, with rollers and a scarf…it’ll be perfect.  Fast forward to the bridge between the hospitals where I used to work, where we make our trek to the studio through the massive crowd of fans chanting “Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy Fallon!”.  (yes, he’s still in the housecoat) After walking for what seems like miles, we reach a door where the security guard lets Jimmy through.  I, however have become stuck in the midst of the fans, until I finally break through and get to the door.  “Hey, it’s me Jimmy’s secretary.” I tell the guard.  “I gotta catch up to him, because I have all his notes etc.”  Well, the guard lets me in and suddenly I’m in what looks like a shopping mall.  He walks me down the mall a way, then points me  down the hallway.  At a point in the hallway, the mall breaks off into five different directions.  I asked which way do I go, and he says “It’s easy little lady.  You simply go to the picture of John Wayne, then take that immediate right and you will be at the studio.”  I found no picture of John Wayne, but did find myself suddenly in the fanciest bathroom I have ever seen.  At that moment, my cat jumped on my head and woke me up.