Kathie Lee is dancing with an unrecognizable bald headed, bearded old man and Burt Reynolds is teamed up with an unrecognizable “older” woman with brown hair. They can’t do any lifts or flips, and they say ouch a LOT, but it’s for charity, so it’s all good.
As they are preparing for their dances (they are going toe to toe in a “dance off”) there are school desks everywhere! Naturally, since I am responsible for the dance hall, I get some people together and clear a dance floor for them. Also, I am running little toddlers off the dance floor as well.
As I am taking one toddler to his mother, an old man comes up next to me and tries to put his hand in my pocket. I told him that was inappropriate and he should go into the other room before I slap the hell outta him. He leaves and I find out from someone else, he is only there looking for hookers.
After the dancing show, the hall turns into a library/dmv office. You can check out books and get your tags for your car at the same time. We are finding all these vehicle registrations laying around so we have to shred them.
No, I did not have cheese before bed. Oh wait….there is cheese on pizza. Dammit.
I’m at a big fundraiser, and need to use the restroom. I find the ladies room, only to discover the doors to the stalls are cut off at the top and the main door doesn’t lock. My first thought is, “What kind of place is this?” As I enter the stall…..a man comes in with his daughter. He is quickly chastised by all the ladies in the restroom, since the stall doors are cut off at the top…who wants a man in there? He is instructed to perhaps utilize the “family” restroom, or the men’s room, as both have changing tables.
He leaves, and we are like “Whew, what a relief.” But…..suddenly the door swings open and under the stall door comes a “leprechaun”. Only, it’s not a leprechaun, it’s Will Ferrell dressed as one. I look at him and say “Really? You come barging in to my stall dressed as a leprechaun? Do you think you are that funny? Well, I got news for you….it’s not funny to barge into a lady’s stall when she’s in the can! And I can’t stand your movies!”
Then I go back to the bleachers where we were sitting, only now there is a boy band playing in front of the bleachers. I find myself stuck behind them, with all their wires strewn around, equipment everywhere. So, I had to go all the way around the back of the bleachers (we were sitting in the 2nd row) and come in from the other side. Luckily, it was NSYNC, so it was worth the trouble, because I got to see Joey Fatone.
We are all on vacation, staying with family. Actually, our family is Mr and Mrs Brady…supposedly our parents. By we, I mean myself and husband, my kids and grandkids, and my friend Theresa with her husband and kids and grandkids. Evidently, we were all secretly Bradys. Who knew?
But, Mr Brady (our Daddy in this dream) comes to us all excited because he found a blue Mustang on Craigslist. It was being delivered that day. They were coming all the way from Wisconsin with this car. Well, my friend and I (sisters in the dream) said “Now, Daddy,. you can’t be too careful with Craigslist.” Even though we had some sightseeing to do, we decided it best if we hung around just to make sure this guy was on the up and up.
A couple hours later, this big camper pulls up with a blue car in tow. They unhook the car and take it into the 4 car garage. This car is the most beautiful blue color we had ever seen. Then we move to the inside. Everything is covered in this blue fake fur….Everything….including the steering wheel. There are speakers in the doors, speakers in the back, speakers in the dash. The first words out of my mouth were….”Oh, how 1970’s”….The man from Wisconsin said it was from 1974 and was custom made for him. His wife was tired of it, so she made him sell it. Daddy paid 11 grand for it. He said that was a bargain.
He jumped in, started it up, and man did that thing roar. The guy got his money, Daddy got the title, the couple left in their camper, and Theresa and I went to find a pasta bar.
We have to get somewhere…..it’s imperative. There is a sick or injured grandchild that we have to pick up and get to the doctor, and then get back to the apartment I used to live in. We can’t risk running out of gas in the car, or even getting a flat tire, so we have to take an elephant. Yes, that’s right…an elephant. Because, as we know, elephants can get through anything.
Our elephant is really big, and a bit stubborn, but we make it to our destination, get the grandchild, make it to the appointment and then back to the apartment where I used to live. There I find my sister and my kids waiting. The place looks the same, yet different. I go upstairs to find my old neighbor, but she isn’t there.
Suddenly, we hear neighbors yelling….”There’s an elephant in that driveway!” I look outside, and sure enough, our ride is still waiting outside…tied to the tree, just grazing away on whatever elephants graze on. And we ask ourselves “Where will we keep him?” After all, we had forgotten there was no garage big enough to house an elephant.
This starts in the living room of a man’s house. He is having an art show, with things on display in a curio cabinet. To the left are all things that he has put together that were part of his life. (Items that mean something to him.) He has made wood carvings, has pocket watches, fishing lures and the likes. To the right, are things he has put together regarding his son. These things are mostly photographs the man has taken of his son in uniform, along with badges, parts of his uniform, that sort of thing. I believe the son was a fire fighter.
Cut back to my house, where I get a visit from an old friend of one of my brothers. He has a young child with him, and walks in the side door. We walk into the front room, where suddenly, everything has changed. There is a hide-a-bed couch by the front window, a black swivel chair in the corner, and a huge tv on a stand. The young child was drinking red koolaid and suddenly I see red koolaid all over my wall.
In the meantime I am trying to get ready to leave for my surgery. So, I clean the wall as best I can, and call the surgery center, who informs me they are running 4 hours late and can I come in the next day? Well, I said..”No…I have to go back to work! My boss won’t give me another day off.” Then I look outside and a red sportscar is there to pick me up.
I get to the facility and find I left my glasses in the ladies room. On the way back to retrieve them, we end up in an auditorium, sitting at a table watching the Beachboys perform “Kokomo”….John Stamos is playing with them, and when they get to the high parts that nobody can reach anymore, they play clips on the giant screens of themselves when they were younger singing the higher parts.