My Shopping at the Mall with my Daughter Dream

I am at the mall waiting for my daughter so we can go shopping for her birthday treat.  I have some time to kill, so I decide I’m gonna be-bop around the mall to get some ideas for her.  However, I don’t really want to walk, so I take a spin around on one of those hoverboard things.  (Or was it a hoveround?)

She shows up after my little jaunt, and we start wondering around.  We stop outside a new bookstore, and I see someone I used to work with.  His name is Bob, and he is with the daughter of our old boss.  I yell “Bobby!”  and he turns around and asks if that is my oldest daughter.  I said “No, Bobby, that is my youngest.”  To which he responds ‘It’s nice to see her completely mobile!”  Well, my youngest wondered what he was talking about.  I responded “Well, you see, the last time he saw you, you were always in a cast.”

At that point, she decided to go into the new book store.  Not only did this store have books, but it had snacks.  Both healthy and unhealthy.  We opted for the unhealthy side, and my daughter decided to get a piece of chocolate cake topped with chocolate brownie and chocolate candy shavings.

While we are standing there, the woman behind me is crowding me and smushing me into the counter.  I was trying to be nice, stating I could not move, but she just didn’t take the hint.  When it was time for me to pick my treat, (I had picked the same chocolate cake…surprise surprise) I tried reaching into my back pocket and got a handful of her ass as she had her back against mine.  I had had enough…and I said “Listen bitch, you have been up against my ass this whole time, and I need to get into my damn back pocket!”  Then I woke up…probably right before I kicked the snot out of her.

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My Amy Roloffin a camper at the mall with R Phillip Prince dream

Amy Roloff is in her new venue on the Roloff farm checking out the new sound system, when suddenly she breaks out into Pink’s “Just You and Your Hand Tonight”.  Then, she loads everyone into the big camper so that we can all make our way to the campground that is approximately 90 miles from where we were.

We drive and drive and eventually we end up at a mall in the middle of nowhere.  We are all walking around looking for the food court, which evidently does not exist anymore.  Some of us get separated and I find myself in JC Penney’s with my real life good friend and children’s author R Phillip Prince.  (Author of “Mouse in the Viking’s Beard”..check it out)  I say “Hey, Phil, do you know where everyone went?  We have to find that camper, lest we be stranded here forever.”  So, Phil, who evidently decided to get an ornery streak said “Yup, let’s go!” and starts running.  I try to keep up and finally track him through the furniture department, where he hid behind a chair.  He jumped out and yelled “Gotcha Taffy!”  I then chase him again down a hallway and through a door to the elevators, but can’t find him at all.  I yell “Come on Phil, this isn’t funny anymore!” and then go back out the door to see if I missed him.

In the meantime, Phil came through another door and couldn’t find me so hopped on the elevator to the 4th floor to find the camper.  I get on next elevator to try and catch up, for fear I am forever stranded at a JC Penney at a mall with no food court in the middle of nowhere.

Then, suddenly, I found myself awake walking into the bathroom.

Yes, I really dream this stuff…who could make it up?