I can’t find my car on my last day of work dream.

I’ve had some really intensely disturbing dreams this week. Disturbing in the fact that I can’t figure out what in the name of Pete they were all about. (Whoever Pete is.)

Last night though…that was just plain weird.  I was visiting my niece, then someone found my coat at a bar, so I had to go and get it. From there I went to interview a pregnant woman who wanted to have her baby on a cruise ship.

Then I went to my parent’s old house to get my car for work. I got there, and it was 11:25 and I had to be to work by noon, but I could not find my car. In the midst of that, my mom had one of the great grandkids in the bathroom, and he pooped so bad she barfed.

I said “Just once, I’d like to be able to find the car I’m driving!” My dad asked me what was going on, and I said…”No matter what car I drive, it ends up missing, like someone moved it.” In this particular dream I was driving the Nova, which had been missing in real life since likely the 80’s. Dad said “Oh, someone finally found that? It’s got to run rough by now.” I said “Yup….I drove it here, and it’s a beast, but now I can’t find the damn thing and I have to be to work by noon.” By that time it was 11:45. So, Dad said “Well, luckily it only takes 10 minutes to walk to work from here.” Mom came outside after puking and said “Walk fast…don’t be late on your last day of work!”


My Monkees/Costumed Intruder/Lost Dog/Taco Dream

So, I dreamed I knew The Monkees, and they (as young fellas) got booked at a biker bar in the South by an agent. I had to tell them it was a biker bar, and although I know some bikers who like the Monkees, this was likely not that kind of group. Their Agent told them it was a much different venue. The mister said “You know the Monkees?” I said “Oh, sure, I used to talk to them on the phone all the time.” So, while I was getting ready to tell them the clientele was not young teenie bopper girls, I was distracted by something in my daughter’s old room. I went in to find someone running out in this costume….wearing a furry stuffed animal head, with some sort of pillow case attached to where you could not see the arms. This person took off out the door, so I went to find him/her. Only thing I found was some dogs running loose in another neighborhood. A collie, a greyhound and a spaniel. When I got home, my sister Trish was here with tacos and flowers to take to a cemetery. And we were out of mountain dew.

My high school, motorcycles, snake on the sidewalk, purse eating creature dream.

I dreamed I was at my old high school.  I was attending classes that I had already attended 40 years prior, so I thought to myself “Why am I reliving high school?  I have already done this, so I believe I will just go home.”

So, as I am leaving to go find the bus (because that is how we got around in high school),  I hear the rumble of motorcycles.  They were antique and unusual motorcycles, some with sidecars, and they were parading through the high school grounds.

I get to the corner where we used to catch the bus, only to find that the bus schedule had changed from 40 years prior, so I decide to walk home.  As I am walking, I notice someone is following me so I cross the street.  This person follows me all the way home.  It just so happens home, in this case, is the home I grew up in, which is a 45 minute walk from the high school.

On the way, in the old neighborhood, I come across a giant snake on a sidewalk.  I tell the girl following me to back off, because this snake is huge.  The snake comes toward me, and I grab a stick and sling it into the street where it meets an untimely fate underneath the wheels of a car.  Just as I think we are safe from the snake, this creature appears out of nowhere and firmly clamps down on my purse.  I reach inside the creature’s mouth and grab my purse.  When I do that, it shrivels up into what looks like a pile of leaves.

Finally, I make it to my childhood home, (which in real life no longer exists, and has been replaced by a Walgreens), and am thrilled to see it is still standing.  Inside the garage I find my brother, who is heading up a garage sale, and trying to adopt out a litter of puppies.

I did manage to lose the girl who was following me.

My shoes on the roof dream

Not long ago, I dreamed there were about 15 people squatting in the vacant house behind my back yard.  About 5 or 6 of those people were inside my yard, drinking beer and having a bonfire.  Of course, I promptly kicked them out of my yard.  They all retreated to the empty house, and were partying and dancing in the windows and were tearing down all the drapes.  They had thrown all their shoes on top of the roof.  And they kept jumping the fence to get back into my yard.  I immediately called the police, and the dispatcher said “Oh, I have never had a call like this before, so I will have to turn this over to the department that fills out paperwork…please hold.”

My Jimmy Fallon Tonight Show Dream

I dreamed I was married to Jimmy Fallon and we decided I should take over the Tonight Show for a while because he wanted to be home with the kids.  We left to go to taping and rehearsals, and when we returned, someone’s 98 year old Grandpa was waiting outside, and he was cantankerous.  After we got inside, my mother called to inform me that 98 year old Grandpa just got dropped off because he was being too naughty during the Superbowl.  Then, the doorman alerts Jimmy that my Aunt Donna has arrived.  She was pretty famous in my dream, and as I was letting her in, Jimmy had all the kids’ friends dress up in costumes to greet her when she walked in.  There were about 20 costumed kids in the living room.  Aunt Donna was showing us gifts she had bought for my cousins.  A guy who was with her claimed to be one of my cousins, but the jury is still out on that one.  Aunt Donna said she missed working and I said “Well, I can get you a gig on The Tonight Show.”

My Walking Dead Let’s Ambush Negan Dream

Negan sends his troops out to get their acquisitions from Rick.  Little does he know they have planned quite the surprise.  I am on the inside of Negan’s camp tending to a little child.  Daryl Dixon and Jesus are on the outside.  We lure Negan to one of his warehouses, with Daryl on the roof making noises.  Once we get Negan into the warehouse, Daryl drops some smoke bombs and all the exits are locked.

Then…..Jesus starts playing “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” by Wham…over and over and over again.  Negan yells…”Make it stop!  I hate that song…make it stop!”  And in between the smoke and music distractions, I grab the little child and start running, because the troops are coming in.

We weave our way through the smoke as a giant truck carrying troops with their gas masks and guns crashes through a wall.   They are rooting out any left over Saviors that may be lurking around before they make their way to the being tortured by Wham version of Negan.  Negan is now just a fraction of the man he once was, crying, begging to stop the constant playing of that song.

We make it outside to another truck, and yes, they have room for me and the little child.  The troops have rounded up Negan and he is properly secured and they have saved him for Rick and Maggie.  As we are loading up the truck, we see Rick and Maggie and crew come out of a cornfield with nothing but revenge in their eyes as they head toward Negan’s containment.  Perhaps they will feed him dog food prior to seeking justice…..  To be Continued…..





My I can’t use this bathroom because a gorilla is loose dream

I am standing in my living room, but everything has been moved around.  My curio cabinet is in the middle of the room, tipped over and half it’s size.  The fireplace is over by the kitchen doorway, and the tv is where the curio cabinet used to be, only it’s in pulled out away from the wall about 3 feet.  I can’t quite figure out who did it, and nobody will admit to it.  So, I decide I’m going to go into the bathroom to take a shower.

I leave my living room and suddenly I am in the hallway of another building, looking for my bathroom.  There are people wandering around, and point me in the direction of my bathroom which is in this other building.  While entering the bathroom, I see someone walking a young gorilla.  “What is this place?” I ask, and am told that it is a place for special gorillas who learn to communicate with sign language.  Essentially, it is gorilla college.

As I close the bathroom door behind me, I realize I am in my parents’ old bathroom.  I thought to myself this is fine because I know this bathroom.  Suddenly, there is an alarm going off.  This giant gorilla, who was called Kong…(go figure)…got loose, and he’s scared and he’s ginormous.  Well, that’s just great because I can’t possibly take a shower with a giant gorilla running around.

So, I run back to my living room and say “Ok, we gotta go.  The only place I can take a shower is in Port Byron, IL.”  So, we jump in the car and drive.  On the way, we have discovered that the highway is leading to unknown territory and all the signs are gone.  We have no idea where we are going, and I said “Great…how the hell am I gonna get my shower now?”

I ended up in my parents’ old basement where, lo and behold there was a shower.  Not only was there a shower, but there was also a secret room way in the back of the basement where people would go to work.

I had peanut butter before I went to sleep.