My visitor.

A few days ago, I kept catching a glimpse of something out the corner of my right eye, or so I thought. Then, Saturday I kept turning to my husband, who was sitting to the right of me and asking “What did you say?”…Nothing, he said nothing. Then, all day yesterday I felt a “presence” behind my right shoulder, and when I went to sleep, it was like someone was touching my right shoulder. During the night I dreamed about my brother Dave who passed away in 1987.  He was in the kitchen where we grew up.  (Mind you, that house no longer exists, as it was demolished in 2000 to build a Walgreens.)  I said “I thought you were dead!” He said “Well, I am, but I heard you needed a visit, now give me a hug.”

My dream about my dad.

My dream started at the house we all grew up in (aka 548), and all of us kids were standing in the kitchen. The house was pretty much torn up, so I am guessing it was in it’s pre-tearing down stage after Walgreens purchased it.  I had just finished reattaching the old brown and white paneling on the kitchen walls.  My brother Will said “Nice job, I like what you did.”  Then, we started talking about Dad, who had been in the hospital, something to do with his hip.  Upon discharge he would be going back to the little red house behind the old dairy queen.  (The house the folks bought when Walgreens took over 548.)  We were all worried about who would take care of him, since I don’t live basically down the avenue from that house anymore.

We decided it was time to leave 548 and come up with a plan.  After walking outside, we turned around to find the back porch was completely gone and the kitchen door was boarded up.  A car then pulls in the driveway and it is my niece, her fiance, my nephew and his wife, their mother and her hubby.  When my niece’s fiance gets out of the car, all these papers blow out into the alley at 548.  “What the heck is that?” we all asked. To which my niece replies “They are all car insurance cards….he saves every one of them!  Uggghhh.”

We all get in our respective vehicles and drive to the little red house.  While there, we are talking to someone about whether or not dad will need care after he gets home.  In the shadows of the kitchen we see someone in a hat with his back to us.  At first I think it’s my brother Will.  He turns around and it’s our Dad!  He looks great, wearing his old light colored 10 gallon hat, a white shirt, black cowboy tie, black pants and his black cowboy boots.  He walks over, standing straight, not limping anymore.  I looked at him and said “Daddy!  What are you doing here already?  We were so worried…I thought you were dying.”  He gave me a big old hug and said “I’m here to tell you I’m ok and so is your mom.  Everything is going to be fine.  You don’t have to worry so much anymore.”  In the middle of the hug, I woke up.  It felt so real, I was looking around for him. My dad passed away in 2007.

6 years

6 years ago, you left this earth as we know it

Such a loss I’ve never truly felt and never was so sad

Because no matter how old a little girl gets

She’s never done needing her dad

I feel your presence in every corner

I hear your voice at every turn

Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry

And often the very soul of me burns

What a 6 years it has been without you

The greatest man to ever grace

The presence of everyone who knew you

On this earthly place

6 years ago you left this earth as we know it

And I have never felt so sad

Because I lost my friend, my hero, my confidante

You were so much more than dad.

Miss you Daddy!

The Beautiful Tinkerbell

My fight, my battle, was never with you or against you, it was always for you.

 

To keep you safe, to keep you on the right track, to keep you from making bad choices

And to protect you from the possible bad influences of others.

 

For you, the one who I thought was most like me.

 

You had the ambition, the drive, the brains.

 

Perhaps I did too much, perhaps not enough.

 

But it was my duty as a mother, and with a mother’s love that no child can understand.

A love that is forever, although sometimes harsh, often misunderstood

Yet always there and always unconditional.

 

And I feel I may have lost a fight, but I have not lost the battle.

 

Because you are flesh of my flesh, and there is a bit of me in you still.

And you are forever in my heart.

 

The one who I thought was most like me.

 

The Beautiful Tinkerbell.

To my parents

My heart remembers this time of year

As I think of my parents so dear

And through some tears I write these words

In hopes their souls will hear

Mom, my mother, my hero

You came to this country with nothing

Yet achieved everything

Proud with tales of the Motherland

Yet even prouder to become an American

True to yourself as you were to us

You faced adversity many times and did so with dignity

Hard with a punishment yet always gentle with your love

And while the words were rarely mentioned

That love was never questioned

My last vision of you-a lifeless body on the floor

Will remain forever etched in my mind

But my memories of you will always overcome

Your beautiful face, inner strength, tales of our heritage

You inspire me

You left this earthly world unexpectedly

Causing us to wonder why

I miss you mom, rub my leg?

Dad, my daddy, my bestest friend

So charming and full of wit,  always with a joke to tell

Such a truly caring person, always helping others

With a love for your family that made you stand proud

And an undying love for mother

A love like no other

Even after she passed

You were never one to be alone

Dying in your loneliness, yet too proud to let on

“Don’t worry” you’d say “I’m ok”

Your love for us was always mentioned

And that love was never questioned

My last vision of you slowly slipping away from me

Will remain forever etched in my mind

But my memories of you will always overcome

“The face”, your humor, your love for my mother

I adore you

Mother called you back to her

And your loneliness was gone

I miss you dad, squeeze my shoulder?

My parents…married April 5th, 1958. the folks