My dream starts in a subway where Spiderman is trying to stop a subway car full of criminals who plan on destroying the earth as we know it. But, it’s not just one Spiderman. There are multitudes of Spiderman clones. The idea is that Spiderman will be underneath the track and he will shoot webs from underneath the car, and the clones will shoot web from all different directions in hopes of stopping the car.
Something goes wrong with the clone webs, and the subway car flips over and crashes into a wall. Spiderman is covered head to toe in mud, so he goes home to clean up after the criminals are arrested. Guess where home is? Yup…right where I am.
He comes into the house and says “Hey, who is that guy sleeping in the bed?” I reply “I really don’t know…he’s just some illegal alien that showed up.” Spidey asks “So, he is from a different country?” And I said “No, a different planet.” Yes, that is right, there was an actual illegal alien from outer space in the house. And by illegal, I mean that he left his planet against their rules, having stolen a space ship and what not. He stopped at the house on his way to find his kids at school….he was exhausted from traveling so far and breathing this air. So, he needed sleep. He had ditched his space ship in some woods somewhere.
Spidey throws his costume in the laundry and I go into the bathroom to find toothbrushes everywhere….multitudes of them, as well as white motel towels and plastic cups. I go to the living room to find people on the couch watching the television and asking for waffles.
Here I am wide awake at 05:30 trying to make sense out of this dream that I woke up from an hour ago.
My friend B and I are driving to Colorado. After our 12 hour drive straight through we pull in to our destination, when we notice that the venue next to our motel is having the Magic Mike dancers, with special guest appearance by Channing Tatum AND they are having margarita specials. I said “Ya know….you seen one male dancer, you seen ‘em all. But……this is Channing Tatum.” So, we went.
Cut to the driveway of the house I grew up in. (Which, in real life, no longer exists…it is now a Walgreens.) We pull in and start unpacking the car and putting things in the garage. We unpack the electric skillet we borrowed, (that we took with us to fry potatoes in), and it was discovered that the cord wasn’t with the skillet. So now we must commence looking for the cord. As we are standing in the driveway looking through every piece of every article of everything we had packed away, we hear the sound of something dragging approaching in the parking lot across the alley. It’s a stray little white dog dragging his chain and just running to beat the band.
We get him into the yard, and finally are able to hook him to the dog lead in the yard. He has tags, but only rabies tags. Nothing with an owner of any kind. So, he hangs out with us for a while until we decide what to do.
Next door, we find a guy in a blue uniform. I find this odd, since that is not who used to live there. The folks that used to live there were a little odd, and liked to “collect” things. So, I said “Who are you? You aren’t the people that burned women’s shoes in the driveway.” Suddenly, we hear an awful noise and see a flash across the street behind the gas station. The guy in the blue uniform says “I’m the new maintenance man, and I just got paged that the doctor’s office across the street blew up, so I gotta run!” Then, we find the cord to the electric skillet, which gets returned to it’s owner. It was in a pocket in the inside of the back door of the vehicle.
We then decide it’s time to head back to our own homes, but instead of taking the regular route, we drive down John Deere Road headed in the opposite direction. We are headed west, and are in the left lane, when suddenly a vehicle in the right lane crossed the line and almost hits us. We catch up, and I lean out the window…much to my surprise the vehicle has transformed into a smart car. I flip em off and yell “Looks like your car is the only smart thing about you people!” Then I woke up. Perhaps I need to cross honey nut cheerios off my late night snack list.