I’m at work, along with my coworkers, and we are having a potluck. Suddenly Christopher Walken appears. It seems we need retrained on how to answer the phone, so the company has hired him to do so. First of all, we must answer the phone with a strong east coast accent, which we have to practice. We sound like we are doing a very bad impersonation of Rosie ODonnell. Once the phones start to ring we must answer like this “Gordy’s used furniture, ya wanna buy a chair or what?” Once we have mastered that, Christopher turns to me and says “I am your father.” It’s decided right then we need to celebrate with cake and a motorcycle ride. I can’t ride in my work clothes, so I grab my jeans. The bathrooms are full up, the breakroom is full up, so I have to run to the printer room and change, hoping nobody needs to print out any reports. I then take off on my bike (which has a sidecar) down an alley surrounded by brick walls, with twists and turns that eventually ends up being an underground connection to a mansion.
I am out of town for a presentation and need to get my hair trimmed. Mind you, my hair is very short, so a trim is practically nothing. I find a salon that can fit me in, and drive my shiny fancy black car. (I don’t own a fancy black car in real life) to the salon, which is located in a busy shopping center. The gal seems very nice and she trims not even 1/2″ off my hair…barely enough to warrant sweeping the floor. Whilst she is trimming, my sisters walk in and sit at the back of the salon. One sister doesn’t acknowledge me, while the other sister waves. (Not a surprise) I strike up a conversation and we reminisce about the days of our mother’s salon and the stripper that appeared there for her 55th birthday. All is good until I get the total for my trim….$75.00. I was livid…. “I am not paying $75.00 for a trim when I can get a color and complete haircut for $65.00 back at home! ” The gal informed me she was the manager and could charge whatever she wanted. By that time, there were several people coming in for their appointments….droves, actually. I turned around and informed them “If you are coming for a haircut, the going price is $75.00 for a trim….look at the floor. THAT is what she is charging me for that little tiny bit of hair.” Everyone walked out and I only had to pay $15.00. Then, I can’t find my car in the parking lot, so I hit my horn button on my remote. The horn goes off, but instead of my car I find I now have a Ducati complete with a sidecar. (In real life I own a Yamaha).