Conversation at the Opthalmologist

Conversation at the eye doctors with 2 random strangers (older women sitting across from me) went something like this: 1st older woman yawns while having a conversation with her friend. I then yawn. 1st older woman says “It’s catching….sorry I should not have yawned.” I said “Yes, it’s contagious, but I’m getting older, so I yawn a lot more now.” 2nd older woman says “Oh, you have a long way til you are old.” I say “Well, in my head, I’m still 30, but my body is starting to tell me otherwise.” 2nd older woman says “Oh, 30….that was 60 years ago for me.” Well, I wasn’t sure I heard her right….because that would make this woman 90 years old. She certainly did not look 90, and even though she used a walker, she was gettin’ around pretty darned good. So, I flat out responded, sounding rather shocked, “60 years ago? No way! No way!” 1st older woman giggled and said “Yes way…she’s 90.” I replied “You’re pulling my leg.” 2nd older woman said “No, I’m 90.” I just plain said “Well, you look great! And honestly, I would have guessed you at 75.” Needless to say, she was thrilled, and proceeded to talk to me about how she stays so young. She worked til she was 80, and she works out with her theraband exercise bands every day doing bicep curls, etc. She hates sitting around…We agreed that it’s best to move around, and that being bored is just not tolerated. Gosh, she was great. I told her…”I hope I live to be 90.” I love conversations like that with random strangers, because suddenly, they aren’t strangers anymore.

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When I am an old woman…

When I am an old woman, I will wear Serenity panty liners, so that I can feel fresh when I sneeze, laugh or cough. (Because those kegel exercises don’t work forever!)

I will go to the grocery store at least twice a week and only buy a couple cans of cat food, so that after I’m gone, the clerks can ask eachother “Does she really have a cat, or is that her dinner?”

I will maintain my independence by ordering a Hoveround, (You can get them for free!), so that I can go shopping with ease, and see sights like the Grand Canyon. According to the commercial, I will be able to do those things if I get one!

I will purposely buy thong underwear, so the young man at the register can say “Oh my Gawd, do you think she really wears those?”

I will get the Clapper, because evidently only old women use them!

I will proudly display my AARP card at all the finest facilities, and will start drinking coffee just to get 10 cents off a cup at my local diner!

When I am an old woman, I will wear Serenity panty liners, so that I can feel fresh when I sneeze, laugh or cough. (Because those kegel exercises don’t work forever!)