My Dolly Parton in a Storm Dream

In this dream, my family is driving to our vacation spot in the Smoky Mountains, when suddenly, we are caught in this torrential storm.  It is raining so hard, and the wind is blowing so bad that I can’t see to drive, so we have to pull off the road.  We pulled off near a house, and knock on the door.  To our surprise, Dolly Parton answers.  I said “Dolly Parton?”  She said “Why, yes sugar, it’s me.”  I explained our dilemma and she graciously said we could ride this awful storm out with her.  She said it was gonna be a doozie of a storm, so we may want to bring in our belongings, because we may be staying a little while.  And boy was she right.  We stayed all day and all night.  She sang songs and read stories to the kids, and got everyone hooked up in the guest bedrooms.  The next morning she made bacon, eggs and grits for everybody.  Then, as soon as the storm passed, we got to tour her property, and then we were on our way with free passes to DollyWood.  It was a great dream.

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Grandpa

The greatest man I ever knew

Lived at 414 Richmond Avenue.

LaGrange Park, IL was the town

Where this man so world renown

In the beautiful ballroom would entertain

When he wasn’t driving the Sante Fe Train.

He would play the guitar and he would sing.

When he tickled the ivories, he made them ring.

Friends and family would gather around

Just so they could hear the sound

Of the piano playing and the songs he sung.

I’d sit right by him, I was so young.

I was amazed and perhaps in awe

Of this great man, Harry Roland, my grandpa.

Sometimes he’d do little magic tricks,

I’d watch real close because he was quick.

Then I’d look at him and say

“Grandpa, how’d you do that anyway?”

And, of course, he wouldn’t tell,

Not wanting to break his magic spell.

He loved entertaining everyone.

He was so cool and so much fun.

I remember we went for ice cream one day,

We stopped at the bank along the way.

The teller said she’d like one too,

So he dropped her ice cream at the drive thru.

I guess, at heart, he was a big kid

Who enjoyed life and all he did.

But grandpa was also very wise.

I could always go to him for advice.

He lived life to the fullest, right up to the end.

He was my hero, confidant, friend.

Then one day my grandpa was gone.

He’d played his last tune, sung his last song.

He was very unique in his own way

And I love and miss him still to this day.

I carry his memory deep in my heart,

So we’ll never be truly apart.

And if I close my eyes I can see

Grandpa at the piano, singing to me.

Written by Taffy OKelly 5-17-1999

Completely Made Up Groups and the Hits they Never Made: Part2

Yes, another idea popped into my head about a completely made up group with hit songs they never made.  It was the chickens I tell ya.

Hairless Harriet and the Headless Chicken Chasers:

Stop Pluckin’ my Pussy Cat

I’ll Flap My Wings for You

Heads are not for Chopping

Don’t Make Me Shave My Legs for You

Completely Made Up Groups and the Hits They Never Made part 1

Yes, these are completely made up in my own little mind.  I blame it on being chased by headless chickens as a youngster on the farm.

Corny Bitch and the Watermelon Whores:  With their album Pollinatin’ Rhythm, to include the chart bottoming songs:

Fornicatin’ Melons

Stay Outta My Rhubarb Patch

My Beans Are Green

Stop Mixin’ My Seeds

And….Big Balls of Bleu Cheese.