My Shopping at the Mall with my Daughter Dream

I am at the mall waiting for my daughter so we can go shopping for her birthday treat.  I have some time to kill, so I decide I’m gonna be-bop around the mall to get some ideas for her.  However, I don’t really want to walk, so I take a spin around on one of those hoverboard things.  (Or was it a hoveround?)

She shows up after my little jaunt, and we start wondering around.  We stop outside a new bookstore, and I see someone I used to work with.  His name is Bob, and he is with the daughter of our old boss.  I yell “Bobby!”  and he turns around and asks if that is my oldest daughter.  I said “No, Bobby, that is my youngest.”  To which he responds ‘It’s nice to see her completely mobile!”  Well, my youngest wondered what he was talking about.  I responded “Well, you see, the last time he saw you, you were always in a cast.”

At that point, she decided to go into the new book store.  Not only did this store have books, but it had snacks.  Both healthy and unhealthy.  We opted for the unhealthy side, and my daughter decided to get a piece of chocolate cake topped with chocolate brownie and chocolate candy shavings.

While we are standing there, the woman behind me is crowding me and smushing me into the counter.  I was trying to be nice, stating I could not move, but she just didn’t take the hint.  When it was time for me to pick my treat, (I had picked the same chocolate cake…surprise surprise) I tried reaching into my back pocket and got a handful of her ass as she had her back against mine.  I had had enough…and I said “Listen bitch, you have been up against my ass this whole time, and I need to get into my damn back pocket!”  Then I woke up…probably right before I kicked the snot out of her.

Advertisements

My Dancing with John Travolta Dream

I am in the living room of a house.  Along with me are my kids, my grandkids, and John Travolta and his wife.  Mrs. Travolta and I were chatting away when John asks if I remember when I understudied for Olivia Newton John in Grease.  My kids were stunned….they had no idea.  “Well, kids” I explained, “This is a well kept secret, but yes, I understudied for Olivia Newton John in Grease….the Sandy role.”  John’s wife said “Yes, it’s true…I have seen the footage and the pictures.”  So, of course we had to prove it to them.

John Travolta starts singing “You’re The One That I Want .” and we just went into the routine, right there in the living room.  Of course we are a bit older than back in the day of filming Grease, but man, does ol’ John still have the moves.

We get to the part where Danny picks Sandy up in the routine and my rings on my right hand (I wear a LOT of rings) get stuck in his shirt under his jacket.  So, John Travolta and I are just stuck together.  Sad day in my life.  Not really.