Last night, I dreamed I was introduced to a somewhat famous man. Now, mind you…I have no clue who this man is in real life, and he may not even exist. Everywhere I went, he was there. He showed up at the grocery store in the check out aisle and paid for my groceries. I was walking home from somewhere, and it was a very long walk. He found me and offered me a ride. When I said I’d rather walk, he called someone to get his vehicle and he walked with me.
During this dream I was with several people at a gathering and a dwelling exploded. I believe it was an apartment building, because people were concerned of any possible residents still inside. People started flocking into the building to look for anyone, and luckily nobody was around. During all that commotion, this man showed up….holding a frito between his teeth. “Come on”, he said…”Share my frito with me.”
Some children told me he was famous, and I said “I don’t know about all that, but I will tell you, if you find someone who wants to share their fritos with you, that’s a true friend, the real deal. Famous or not….”
I’ve had some really intensely disturbing dreams this week. Disturbing in the fact that I can’t figure out what in the name of Pete they were all about. (Whoever Pete is.)
Last night though…that was just plain weird. I was visiting my niece, then someone found my coat at a bar, so I had to go and get it. From there I went to interview a pregnant woman who wanted to have her baby on a cruise ship.
Then I went to my parent’s old house to get my car for work. I got there, and it was 11:25 and I had to be to work by noon, but I could not find my car. In the midst of that, my mom had one of the great grandkids in the bathroom, and he pooped so bad she barfed.
I said “Just once, I’d like to be able to find the car I’m driving!” My dad asked me what was going on, and I said…”No matter what car I drive, it ends up missing, like someone moved it.” In this particular dream I was driving the Nova, which had been missing in real life since likely the 80’s. Dad said “Oh, someone finally found that? It’s got to run rough by now.” I said “Yup….I drove it here, and it’s a beast, but now I can’t find the damn thing and I have to be to work by noon.” By that time it was 11:45. So, Dad said “Well, luckily it only takes 10 minutes to walk to work from here.” Mom came outside after puking and said “Walk fast…don’t be late on your last day of work!”
I dreamed I was at my old high school. I was attending classes that I had already attended 40 years prior, so I thought to myself “Why am I reliving high school? I have already done this, so I believe I will just go home.”
So, as I am leaving to go find the bus (because that is how we got around in high school), I hear the rumble of motorcycles. They were antique and unusual motorcycles, some with sidecars, and they were parading through the high school grounds.
I get to the corner where we used to catch the bus, only to find that the bus schedule had changed from 40 years prior, so I decide to walk home. As I am walking, I notice someone is following me so I cross the street. This person follows me all the way home. It just so happens home, in this case, is the home I grew up in, which is a 45 minute walk from the high school.
On the way, in the old neighborhood, I come across a giant snake on a sidewalk. I tell the girl following me to back off, because this snake is huge. The snake comes toward me, and I grab a stick and sling it into the street where it meets an untimely fate underneath the wheels of a car. Just as I think we are safe from the snake, this creature appears out of nowhere and firmly clamps down on my purse. I reach inside the creature’s mouth and grab my purse. When I do that, it shrivels up into what looks like a pile of leaves.
Finally, I make it to my childhood home, (which in real life no longer exists, and has been replaced by a Walgreens), and am thrilled to see it is still standing. Inside the garage I find my brother, who is heading up a garage sale, and trying to adopt out a litter of puppies.
I did manage to lose the girl who was following me.
I dreamed I was married to Jimmy Fallon and we decided I should take over the Tonight Show for a while because he wanted to be home with the kids. We left to go to taping and rehearsals, and when we returned, someone’s 98 year old Grandpa was waiting outside, and he was cantankerous. After we got inside, my mother called to inform me that 98 year old Grandpa just got dropped off because he was being too naughty during the Superbowl. Then, the doorman alerts Jimmy that my Aunt Donna has arrived. She was pretty famous in my dream, and as I was letting her in, Jimmy had all the kids’ friends dress up in costumes to greet her when she walked in. There were about 20 costumed kids in the living room. Aunt Donna was showing us gifts she had bought for my cousins. A guy who was with her claimed to be one of my cousins, but the jury is still out on that one. Aunt Donna said she missed working and I said “Well, I can get you a gig on The Tonight Show.”
So I had a dream that took place in the mall. I should have known right then this would not be a good dream, since I absolutely HATE the mall.
I am there to meet some folks from an organization that I am in for lunch/meeting. I am wondering around trying to find a place to eat. What I really want is Chick-fil-a, but I come across a Tastee Freeze. I was very excited by that, since there hadn’t been one there since I was a young mall employee. So, I decide to order from there.
There is one gal working there and she takes my order. It was a simple order really, consisting of a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake. How hard could it be? Well, she takes my order, gives me my total, and I give her a ten dollar bill. So, in turn, she gives me change for $100.00. I said “Oh, but I gave you a ten, not a hundred.” She looks at me confused and says ok, and she takes the money back. Then, she starts taking other orders and filling those. However, mine has not been taken care of yet, nor have I gotten back my correct change. It has been 10 minutes. Suddenly, the gal says “Oh, we are out of napkins….I gotta run to Walgreens.” I said “But what about my order?” And off to Walgreens she runs.
She comes back, and the Tastee Freeze is not in a kiosk in the middle of the mall. I say to her “Listen….I have been waiting almost half an hour for my simple order AND my correct change! Now, THIS time, you give me my ten dollars back, and I am leaving, because NOBODY should have to wait this long.” She said “I can’t, I have to do this first.” Suddenly, she is photographing someone’s baby. As soon as she’s done, she hands me what she claims is my money, but to my surprise, it is 2 dirty napkins! I had enough at that point, and I told everyone there (including a preacher who walked up to the counter), NOT to order here, and told them “I have been waiting for 30 minutes, and gotten nothing! I asked for my money back, and she hasn’t given me anything yet….she owes me ten dollars! Take your business elsewhere!” Then I inform her I have contacted mall security because she tried to pass of 2 napkins (and used ones at that) as my money.
I then looked at her and said “Biotch, give me back my ten dollars!”
We are all on vacation, staying with family. Actually, our family is Mr and Mrs Brady…supposedly our parents. By we, I mean myself and husband, my kids and grandkids, and my friend Theresa with her husband and kids and grandkids. Evidently, we were all secretly Bradys. Who knew?
But, Mr Brady (our Daddy in this dream) comes to us all excited because he found a blue Mustang on Craigslist. It was being delivered that day. They were coming all the way from Wisconsin with this car. Well, my friend and I (sisters in the dream) said “Now, Daddy,. you can’t be too careful with Craigslist.” Even though we had some sightseeing to do, we decided it best if we hung around just to make sure this guy was on the up and up.
A couple hours later, this big camper pulls up with a blue car in tow. They unhook the car and take it into the 4 car garage. This car is the most beautiful blue color we had ever seen. Then we move to the inside. Everything is covered in this blue fake fur….Everything….including the steering wheel. There are speakers in the doors, speakers in the back, speakers in the dash. The first words out of my mouth were….”Oh, how 1970’s”….The man from Wisconsin said it was from 1974 and was custom made for him. His wife was tired of it, so she made him sell it. Daddy paid 11 grand for it. He said that was a bargain.
He jumped in, started it up, and man did that thing roar. The guy got his money, Daddy got the title, the couple left in their camper, and Theresa and I went to find a pasta bar.
We have to get somewhere…..it’s imperative. There is a sick or injured grandchild that we have to pick up and get to the doctor, and then get back to the apartment I used to live in. We can’t risk running out of gas in the car, or even getting a flat tire, so we have to take an elephant. Yes, that’s right…an elephant. Because, as we know, elephants can get through anything.
Our elephant is really big, and a bit stubborn, but we make it to our destination, get the grandchild, make it to the appointment and then back to the apartment where I used to live. There I find my sister and my kids waiting. The place looks the same, yet different. I go upstairs to find my old neighbor, but she isn’t there.
Suddenly, we hear neighbors yelling….”There’s an elephant in that driveway!” I look outside, and sure enough, our ride is still waiting outside…tied to the tree, just grazing away on whatever elephants graze on. And we ask ourselves “Where will we keep him?” After all, we had forgotten there was no garage big enough to house an elephant.