The year of turning 60

It’s finally dawning on me….this is the year I turn 60. Yes….60. It wasn’t that long ago (or so it seems) that I couldn’t have imagined reaching the age of 20 because it seemed like a lifetime away. I remember when my grandparents were 60. I remember when my parents were 60. My friends and I have often had the “We can’t believe we’ll be 60” discussion. It’s a little weird, because on one hand, while 60 may not sound so old…on the other hand, it’s like, uggh 60. So, here are some ponderings on turning 60.
I should have listened to my mother more and not easily dismissed certain things she would tell me about getting older. She was just trying to prepare me for becoming older, and I brushed it all off. For instance: As a woman becomes older, she will get whiskers. True. Keep your tweezers handy at all times. As a woman becomes older, she won’t need to shave her legs as often. True. You might think this is because the leg hair quits growing, but I have found that is not the case. It turns grey…just like the hair on top of your head. Oh, let’s touch on the grey hair. Sure, you might think it won’t happen, or you might just decide to color your hair. Well….at some point, you look in the mirror and realize you are going to look like a skunk if you keep coloring, as fast as that grey is coming in. Do yourselves a favor, and just let it turn grey…it’s a lot cheaper that way. Which leads me to more thoughts on the hair.
Mother said as a woman gets older, she should keep her hair shorter. It will make her look younger. True…the weight of the long hair pulls your wrinkles down. Oh, and don’t think wrinkles won’t happen…I already have my mother’s neck. But I also have her shoulders, which still look pretty young. Which leads me to skin.
Mother always told us girls to never use soap on our face. She said soap would dry up our skin and make it look older faster. Well, that was one thing we took to heart, and all of us girls have really nice skin. (Sometimes, it pays off to listen to your mother.)
Weight….yes, weight gain happens. The metabolism changes in the body. You have to work harder to keep your weight down…as it just seems to come out of nowhere. Good gravy, this is the biggest I’ve ever been, with the exception of being 40 weeks pregnant carrying a 10 lb baby. Mother would always do what she called hip rolls at night…every night she would do these hip rolls before she went to bed…they kept her arse from getting wide she said. Guess what I’m going to start doing? Yup…should have listened to mother.
Aches and pains…yup…got those. My knees sometimes get stuck. My hips go out more than I do.
Teeth…I still have most of my teeth. My folks had dentures for as long as I can remember, and while they did some pretty cool stuff with those false teeth, I would really prefer to keep mine. I have a terrible dental phobia….I’d rather give birth to triplets with no medication. Which reminds me of the fact that there’s a reason we have children when we are younger. My almost 60 year old body could not take that…nor would I have the patience or the energy to be chasing around tiny tots all day long at this age. I’d be like a zombie….although…I find zombies very cool. Hmmmm.
But on a more serious note….there is one thing that just hangs in the back of my mind. I’m really healthy….aside from glaucoma and a thyroid problem, a numb hand and the occasional aches and pains that “are part of this age” (as my doctor says). But…there’s one thing. I’m turning 60….my mother was 60 once. She died at 67. I wish she were still around to tell me more stuff about when a woman gets older. Maybe I’d not dismiss it as easily.
The year of turning 60. I hope we all deal with it gracefully and well. Because not so long ago…we couldn’t imagine being this age.

When I am an old woman…

When I am an old woman, I will wear Serenity panty liners, so that I can feel fresh when I sneeze, laugh or cough. (Because those kegel exercises don’t work forever!)

I will go to the grocery store at least twice a week and only buy a couple cans of cat food, so that after I’m gone, the clerks can ask eachother “Does she really have a cat, or is that her dinner?”

I will maintain my independence by ordering a Hoveround, (You can get them for free!), so that I can go shopping with ease, and see sights like the Grand Canyon. According to the commercial, I will be able to do those things if I get one!

I will purposely buy thong underwear, so the young man at the register can say “Oh my Gawd, do you think she really wears those?”

I will get the Clapper, because evidently only old women use them!

I will proudly display my AARP card at all the finest facilities, and will start drinking coffee just to get 10 cents off a cup at my local diner!

When I am an old woman, I will wear Serenity panty liners, so that I can feel fresh when I sneeze, laugh or cough. (Because those kegel exercises don’t work forever!)

Mary E

There is an old cemetery that I like to visit with my camera.  Amongst all the many markers there, one stands all alone.  It is the gravestone of Mary E.   There is no date on the stone, but it appears to be quite old.  How old, exactly I cannot say, but the cemetery became part of the city here in 1872.  (Prior to that it was a private cemetery.)  It is adorned with what appears to be a rose near the top.  The stone of Mary E has been broken in half, perhaps from age, perhaps due to vandals.

I wonder who was Mary E?  Was she a farmer’s wife, a mother, a teacher or nurse, or perhaps an independent self sufficient woman?  Was she even old enough to have reached womanhood yet, or had she lived a good many many long years?

I picture a lovely woman with long flowing blonde hair, wearing a long puffy sleeved ivory blouse with a long grey skirt and ankle high boots that button up the side.  She sits at an antique  Singer pedal style sewing machine by the light of an oil lamp.  I feel as though she lived in an entirely different era, centuries ago.

How long has her stone been there,  standing alone, set apart from all the others?  She must have been as lovely as the flower engraved at the top and I hope that at some point, someone must have loved her dearly.

I don’t know who Mary E was, but she is an old soul and I am compelled to visit her whenever I go there.  miscellaneous kelly 6 044a

photo is my own work.