So I had a dream that took place in the mall. I should have known right then this would not be a good dream, since I absolutely HATE the mall.
I am there to meet some folks from an organization that I am in for lunch/meeting. I am wondering around trying to find a place to eat. What I really want is Chick-fil-a, but I come across a Tastee Freeze. I was very excited by that, since there hadn’t been one there since I was a young mall employee. So, I decide to order from there.
There is one gal working there and she takes my order. It was a simple order really, consisting of a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake. How hard could it be? Well, she takes my order, gives me my total, and I give her a ten dollar bill. So, in turn, she gives me change for $100.00. I said “Oh, but I gave you a ten, not a hundred.” She looks at me confused and says ok, and she takes the money back. Then, she starts taking other orders and filling those. However, mine has not been taken care of yet, nor have I gotten back my correct change. It has been 10 minutes. Suddenly, the gal says “Oh, we are out of napkins….I gotta run to Walgreens.” I said “But what about my order?” And off to Walgreens she runs.
She comes back, and the Tastee Freeze is not in a kiosk in the middle of the mall. I say to her “Listen….I have been waiting almost half an hour for my simple order AND my correct change! Now, THIS time, you give me my ten dollars back, and I am leaving, because NOBODY should have to wait this long.” She said “I can’t, I have to do this first.” Suddenly, she is photographing someone’s baby. As soon as she’s done, she hands me what she claims is my money, but to my surprise, it is 2 dirty napkins! I had enough at that point, and I told everyone there (including a preacher who walked up to the counter), NOT to order here, and told them “I have been waiting for 30 minutes, and gotten nothing! I asked for my money back, and she hasn’t given me anything yet….she owes me ten dollars! Take your business elsewhere!” Then I inform her I have contacted mall security because she tried to pass of 2 napkins (and used ones at that) as my money.
I then looked at her and said “Biotch, give me back my ten dollars!”
While on a bus tour (guided by Dean Butler of Little House on the Prairie fame) we stop at a tourist attraction, where the owner (John Schneider) resides with his very elderly, ill mother. This place has a plethora of historical items, one in particular being an old gatling gun. The Dean Butler character (Name Ben in this dream) is showing someone how to use this gatling gun, which supposedly does not work any longer.
John Schneider character (Didn’t catch his name) got called away from the tour by his mother. Dean Butler (Ben) had to take someone back to the bus. That left me in charge…oh boy.
A young fella was looking at the old gatling gun, and found something and put it in the gun, and something fell off the gun. Turns out, the something he put in the gun was some old “dead” ammo, and whatever fell off the gun made the cylinder start spinning. It would spin, then stop, then spin then stop.
I alerted someone to go get Ben (Dean Butler) but nobody could find him, and then I sent someone to get John Schneider’s character, and he was recasting his mother’s leg. But he said, “On the off chance that that ammo isn’t dead or blank, get everyone out of there.”
So, I start screaming at everyone to get back, because they are not entirely sure this gun is indeed non functional, and if it does go off, it will kill everyone and destroy everything. Everyone just keeps shopping, and more busloads are coming. I get one crowd dispersed and another shows up. And no matter how many times I scream, they just look at me and keep shopping. They just won’t listen! I finally said “What the heck is wrong with you freaking people! If that ammo is live, and it gets into that chamber, and it successfully discharges….you are all gonna be hamburger! It’s a damn gatling gun…don’t you watch old westerns?”
Suddenly a voice comes out of nowhere….”A gatling gun? You got a rogue gatling gun? I believe I can fix that.” And out of that nowhere comes Slim Pickens, who very calmly and slowly, but precisely, gets the gatling gun dismantled. And he said “Well, it’s a good thing I came along little lady…..because some of this ammo is still alive….another few rounds and these idiots would have all been blown to pieces.”
I have to go to the new pet pharmacy in town to get my pets some medication. It’s the grand opening, and when I arrive, there are several people waiting in line. There’s a sign hanging that says “Out to lunch, be back in 1 hour”. Everyone has been waiting for 45 minutes. Amazingly, it’s all women. So, I ask why didn’t they just go home and then come back later. The response was “Because the owner/pharmacist is George Clooney!” Well, of course I am thinking they are off their rockers. But lo and behold, in 15 minutes the doors open and there is George, in a white pharmacy coat, with his pocket protector and pens in his pocket. So, I say to him….”What on earth are you doing?” His reponse…”I thought it was time for a change.” So, he gets me my dog’s heartworm medicine, and I go on my way, fighting my way through the crowd of women, half of whom don’t even have pets.